Witz des Tages

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Re: Witz des Tages

Beitragvon germik am Di Mai 04, 2010 1:38 pm

Eine Ehefrau f
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Re: Witz des Tages

Beitragvon Jack of all trades am Fr Jul 16, 2010 10:41 am

Bild
“Personally, I’d like to see this tour go forever,” Steve Van Zandt.
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Re: Witz des Tages

Beitragvon Brigitte am Sa Jul 17, 2010 6:39 pm

Ilja hat geschrieben:Bild


:-D :-D
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Re: Witz des Tages

Beitragvon Tintifax am Mo Jul 19, 2010 2:26 pm

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE PETS, THIS IS A TRUE STORY.
FOR THOSE THAT DON'T, IT IS A TRUE STORY.

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door:

Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes on the floor with the paw prints are yours and contain your food The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate does not mean that is is suddenly your food, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the top of the stairs is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It Is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space that you are taking up, is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

(1) They live here. You don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
(1) eat less,
(2) don't ask for money all the time,
(3) are easier to train,
(4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don't hang out with drug-using people;
(7) don't smoke or drink,
(8) don't want to wear your clothes,
(9) don't have to buy the latest fashions,
(10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
(11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children.....
Tintifax
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Re: Witz des Tages

Beitragvon germik am So Jul 25, 2010 8:16 pm

Was ist der Unterschied zwischen einem Marienk
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Re: Witz des Tages

Beitragvon Jack of all trades am Mo Jul 26, 2010 8:39 am

Ein kleiner Junge kuschelt mit der Kindergartentante:
"Du, Tante, hast Du auch Br
“Personally, I’d like to see this tour go forever,” Steve Van Zandt.
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Re: Witz des Tages

Beitragvon Iceman am Mo Jul 26, 2010 1:25 pm

Als Gott die Ehefrauen schuf versprach er den M
Madison Violet, Lynne Hanson, Tracy Killeen, Catherine MacLellan, Lynn Miles
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Re: Witz des Tages

Beitragvon Highlander am Sa Jul 31, 2010 6:17 pm

Iceman hat geschrieben:Als Gott die Ehefrauen schuf versprach er den M
"Some guys they just give up living
And start dying little by little, piece by piece
Some guys come home from work and wash up
And go racin' in the street"
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Re: Witz des Tages

Beitragvon germik am Mi Sep 01, 2010 9:37 am

Manchmal w
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Re: Witz des Tages

Beitragvon Jack of all trades am Fr Dez 03, 2010 11:28 am

**** Spoiler **** Nicht Jugendfrei *******







































SUPERMAN sucht jemanden, mit dem er etwas unternehmen kann.
Er fliegt zu BATMAN und fragt ihn, ob er Zeit hat.
Aber BATMAN muss noch sein Auto reparieren.

Na gut, denkt sich SUPERMAN und fliegt zu SPIDERMAN.
Er fragt:
“Personally, I’d like to see this tour go forever,” Steve Van Zandt.
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Jack of all trades
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Re: Witz des Tages

Beitragvon Brigitte am Do Dez 16, 2010 1:56 pm

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Re: Witz des Tages

Beitragvon Iceman am Mo Jan 17, 2011 3:32 pm

Der Seltsame & die Schwangere

Eine Dame, die ungef
Madison Violet, Lynne Hanson, Tracy Killeen, Catherine MacLellan, Lynn Miles
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Re: Witz des Tages

Beitragvon germik am Do Feb 02, 2012 9:51 am

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Re: Witz des Tages

Beitragvon junn am Mi Jan 16, 2013 9:53 am

germik hat geschrieben:Eine Ehefrau f
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